March News Quiz

  1. Republicans are so eager to compel women to have transvaginal ultrasounds before they have abortions because:  a) they believe that if women see the life growing inside them, they will be less likely to go through with an abortion; b) they’ve received large political contributions from people who manufacture ultrasound equipment; c) it’s been a while since they’ve reminded women who’s boss; or d) they want to keep government out of people’s private lives?
  2. Greece is:  a) pretty much bankrupt; b) dragging down the entire European Union; c) in deep denial about its economy and the steps that will be needed to restore it to good health; or d) the word that you heard, it has groove, it has meaning.
  3. Once Newt Gingrich’s campaign is officially over, he will:  a) write a book; b) do two shows a night at the Sands for the next twenty years to repay casino owner Sheldon Adelson for the more than $10 million Adelson has contributed to Gingrich’s campaign; c) join Dennis Kucinich, Herman Cain, and Ron Paul in pitching a reality show to Fox called “Snowball’s Chance in Hell;” or d) never, ever stop talking?
  4. Venezuela president Hugo Chavez:  a) is a great leader who has brought important change to his country; b) is a socialist bully; c) is apparently dying; or d) has come a long way since he asked us to boycott lettuce?
  5. When your local public television station goes into one of its fundraising and pledge periods, its programming:  a) is heavy on concerts featuring performers who had hits in the 60s and 70s and who pretty much haven’t been seen or heard from since then; b) is sure to include multiple showings of the guy who goes off into the woods to live by himself with no modern conveniences except a movie camera; c) will include someone who lectures you ad nauseum about how to live your life; or d) be much, much better than the boring stuff it broadcasts when it’s not asking you for money?
  6.  The right to bear arms is conferred by:  a) the constitution; b) the bible; c) Charlton Heston; or d) the business end of this here Smith and Wesson?
  7.  Rihanna’s renewed interest in Chris Brown can be attributed to:  a) he’s great in bed; b) no one else is showing any interest in such a plain girl; c) she’s jealous that other women are interested in him; or d) a girl likes to get smacked around every now and then.
  8. Esa-Pekka Salonen is:  a) a Finnish defensemen for the New York Rangers; b) the girl with the dragon tattoo; c) a new flavor of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream; or d) the conductor of the Los Angeles Philharmonic?
  9. The Encyclopedia Britannica announced recently that it will stop publishing its product in book form and only sell access to it through the internet because of:  a) declining sales because so much of the information in it was available elsewhere on the internet; b) it finally dawned on them that maybe people weren’t buying the books because a set costs as much as a small car; c) market research found that no one ever actually opens the books; they’re just used for decoration; or d) Wikipedia is now considered a more authoritative source of information?
  10. Capital punishment is:  a) a deterrent to crime; b) not a deterrent to crime; c) endorsed by the bible’s call for “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth;” or d) to be featured in a new Bravo TV reality show next season?
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Comments

  • Scott  On March 26, 2012 at 2:08 pm

    Great quiz. But one bone to pick with you…we LOVE the PBS documentary made by that guy who lived in the wilds of Alaska for many years and filmed his experiences! Although I’ve never watched a single episode of Survivor, I’ve got to think that this Alaska dude is the inspiration for that and a bevy of other “reality” shows tat we’ve been plagued with over the years.

    • foureyedcurmudgeon  On March 26, 2012 at 2:12 pm

      I agree wholeheartedly; I love that guy. But it sort of proves my point. It’s a wonderful program, so why don’t they ever show great stuff like that when they aren’t asking for your money? Also, wouldn’t it be great to see it straight through, without the begging breaks?

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