Campaign 2013: Passionately Pursuing the Papacy

Contrary to what has been rumored, The Curmudgeon can definitively report that an unnamed but apparently prominent French candidate for pope has not, in fact, hired Republican political strategist Karl Rove to raise dark money and run his campaign for the Catholic Church’s top post.

“That guy couldn’t win his way out of a confessional booth these days,” explained one of the candidate’s allies.

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