November News Quiz

  1. President Obama appointed Caroline Kennedy to be U.S. ambassador to Japan because:  a) she has impeccable diplomatic credentials; b) her long-standing involvement in U.S. foreign policy matters; c) her fluency in Japanese and expertise in Japanese culture; or d) payback for Uncle Teddy’s endorsement in 2008?
  2. After months of speculation and accusations, Toronto mayor Rob Ford finally admitted that he has smoked crack cocaine while in office.  He said he did it because:  a) he needed relief from the pressures of the job; b) drinking like a fish gets pretty boring after a while; c) he was trying to lose weight and heard that smoking crack pretty much destroys your appetite; or d) he couldn’t possibly afford pure cocaine on a mayor’s salary?
  3. A bill in the Pennsylvania state legislature calls for the phrase “in god we trust” to be posted in every public school in the state.  The bill’s sponsors believe this is appropriate because:  a) they’ve never read the constitution; b) they’ve read the constitution but don’t understand it; c) they’ve read the constitution and just don’t care; or d) there’s not a prayer they’ll fund public schools adequately so they think a prayer is pretty much all they have to offer?
  4. Starbucks severed its retail distribution relationship with Kraft Foods because:  a) differences over how to help the business grow; b) now that Kraft did the hard work of opening up retail channels for Starbucks products, Starbucks no longer felt it needed a partner; c) Starbucks didn’t want to share the products’ considerable profits; or d) Starbucks was deeply offended by the Kraft suggestion “How about a new Cheez Whiz-flavored coffee?”
  5. North Korean firing squads recently executed eighty people convicted of watching foreign movies and South Korean television programs and owning bibles while 10,000 people, including children, were forced to watch.  It also is a capital crime in North Korea to:  a) wear white after Labor Day; b) cross against a red light; c) eat green M&Ms; or d) be taller than Kim Jong-un, the country’s 5’6” supreme leader?
  6. The Justice Department approved the proposed merger between US Airways and American Airlines because:  a) approving a merger involving US Airways is always a no-brainer because it has approved US Airways mergers before and found that there are no brains in that company anyway; b) it figures that fewer airlines and less competition will lead to greater convenience and lower prices for consumers; c) it was afraid that if it rejected the merger of any company with the words “U.S.” or “American” in its name, Republicans would accuse the administration of rejecting American exceptionalism; or d) come on, big business always gets its way when it comes to mergers and dealing with the Justice Department, so why should it be any different this time?
  7. On Halloween, trick-or-treaters in one Albuquerque, New Mexico neighborhood received anti-abortion cards along with their candy.  The cards carried messages such as “I am not a clump of cells” and “53 million killed.”  The woman distributing the messages said she did so because:  a) abortion is murder; b) it’s an important message that must be shared and it’s my right to do this; c) everyone knows that Reese’s Cups are a sexual stimulant for the pre-pubescent set and the woman wanted the children to understand the implications of letting their hormones get the better of them; or d) eight-year-olds constitute a powerful constituency in New Mexico and the woman thought this was the perfect opportunity to sway this critical voting bloc?
  8. CNN personality Anderson Cooper criticized actor Alec Baldwin for using a derogatory term for gay people when Baldwin was annoyed by a cameraman attempting to film him coming out of a courthouse.  Cooper spoke out because:  a) he thought the term was wrong and that Baldwin shouldn’t use it; b) he’s gay and is offended by such language; c) he thinks celebrities need to grow up and accept that being followed by paparazzi is part of what you get when you’re a celebrity; or d) criticizing Baldwin is entertaining and attracts attention and Cooper is more committed to being a successful and popular entertainer and attracting attention than he is in being considered a credible newsman?
  9. A Boeing airplane crashed in Russia, killing all fifty people aboard.  Russian officials say the cause of the crash was:  a) pilot error; b) mechanical problems; c) bad weather; or d) an American plot to embarrass Vladimir Putin?
  10. Two major organizations representing heart doctors have announced new standards for the use of prescription medicine to control high cholesterol.  Under the new guidelines, it appears that many more people will be taking these drugs.  The doctors revised the guidelines because:  a) new research said the change would save more lives; b) patients think you’re doing something for them when you write a prescription whether they actually need that prescription or not; c) since the doctors hate Obamacare and that program calls for using fewer prescription drugs, this is their way of thumbing their nose at the president; or d) you can’t beat the kickbacks the pharmaceutical manufacturers pay for prescribing their products?
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