Something for Nothing

Every month or so The Curmudgeon receives in the mail a coupon for ten dollars off any purchase at the Kohl’s department store.  He lives practically around the corner from a Kohl’s and shops there occasionally, but really, he’s not much of a shopper and, as anyone who’s ever seen him can attest, not much of a dresser, either.

Not that snappy dressers are getting their snappy duds at Kohl’s.

And not that people who dress well have referred to themselves as “snappy dressers” since the days when spats were still in style.

Anyhow, when The Curmudgeon receives these coupons he gives a moment’s thought to whether there’s anything in particular he needs that he might be able to buy at Kohl’s and benefit from the ten dollars off, but the answer is almost always no and he tosses the coupon.  Last month, though, the coupon arrived just as he realized he could use some new underwear, so he took the coupon with him to Kohl’s, found some decent drawers already on sale, added his ten dollar coupon, and left the store feeling like he’d gotten a real bargain.

While waiting in line to pay for his BVDs, The Curmudgeon noticed a display of Godiva chocolate bars at the checkout stand – you know, those little gold foil-covered sweets that are grossly overpriced and can often be found at checkout counters – such as directly across the street from this particular Kohl’s store, at a Barnes & Noble.  It was after dinner and The Curmudgeon craved something sweet and chocolate – not that he really needs a reason, he pretty much always craves something sweet and chocolate – but there was no way he was going to overpay for a chocolate bar, and especially not for Godiva, which he’s always thought was more than a bit overrated.

Last week, the monthly ten dollar coupon arrived and, as usual, The Curmudgeon took a moment to consider whether there was any good use to which he might put it.  Finding none, he was about to crumple it up and toss it into the trash, er, the recycle bin, when the proverbial light bulb went on.

Why not go into Kohl’s and blow the whole thing on chocolate bars?

So the next week, when the period for using Kohl’s coupons began, The Curmudgeon drove to the store, went directly to the cashier, and asked how much the Godiva chocolate bars cost.  She didn’t know but scanned one:  $3.25 a bar.

So The Curmudgeon picked up three, put his ten-dollar coupon on the counter, and walked out of the store to the appreciative smile of the cashier, who told him as he departed that she liked the way he thinks.

Something for nothing.  Who woulda thunk it?

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