June News Quiz

  1. The World Cup is: a) a celebration of soccer; b) the greatest soccer tournament in the world; c) a combination of the Olympics of soccer, the World Series of soccer, and the Super Bowl of soccer; or d) the hard plastic object placed inside the World Jockstrap?
  2. The Obama administration is sending “military advisors” to Iraq because: a) Iraq is slowly falling back into the hands of the wrong people; b) it needs someone to finish the work started by the Bush administration and that the Obama administration failed to finish before withdrawing American troops; c) idle and bored members of the armed services were clamoring for some action; or d) sending “military advisors” worked so well for the U.S. in Vietnam in the late 1950s and early 1960s?
  3. Members of the “Open Carry” movement in Texas are walking into stores and restaurants – places like the International House of Pancakes – carrying guns and rifles because: a) in Texas, they have “open carry” laws that permit such behavior; b) this is America and people have a right to act stupid, it’s right there in the constitution; c) they’re looking to pick a fight with gun control advocates and intend to be better armed than those people when the fighting begins; or d) IHOP raised the price of its “Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity” special fifty cents and they are pretty darn steamed about it?
  4. The leaders of Russia and Ukraine met in Normandy on the 70th anniversary of D-day. They met on that day in Normandy because: a) they wanted to meet at a place that symbolized an important step toward peace; b) they were already there at the same time with many other world leaders, so it made sense to get together; c) great weekend rates and free continental breakfast at the Normandy Comfort Inn; or d) Putin wanted to make it clear to Ukrainian leaders that if he didn’t get his way in their country, the Russian invasion of the Crimea would make the Allies’ storming of the beach at Normandy look like a day in the park?
  5. Pro football hall of famer Dan Marino joined a lawsuit against the National Football League over its cover-up of the harm caused by concussions to football players and then promptly asked to have his name removed from the suit. Marino’s change of heart was attributed to: a) a mix-up over whether he was supposed to be part of the suit at all; b) too many hits to the head – he didn’t remember that he signed up to be part of the suit; c) he’s been wearing his Isotoner gloves on his head and they cut off the flow of blood to his brain; or d) his realization that as a broadcaster of pro football, he was biting the hand that feeds him and probably would have lost his lucrative job and then would have needed to work for a living?
  6. The Alabama organization Life Savers Ministries rented a billboard that featured five smiling children beneath a quote from Adolph Hitler from a 1935 speech on the Nazi youth movement: “He alone, who owns the youth, gains the future.” The group posted this message because: a) it was the quote that was important, not its source; b) it was certain that no one would be offended that it quoted Hitler; c) even though Hitler was a bad guy, that doesn’t mean everything he did, said, or thought was totally wrong; or d) what’s so bad about Hitler?
  7. House Speaker John Boehner recently said he intends to sue President Obama for failing to faithfully execute the laws of the land. In response, President Obama said that: a) have too, have too; b) I may just have to get Michelle to kick his ass; c) how can you take something seriously when it’s coming from a guy who’s orange; or d) if he wants to see some executing, I can arrange for some Capitol punishment for the Speaker right here in Washington, D.C.?
  8. Scientists believe that the brains of rats are sufficiently developed that rats can experience feelings of regret. They learned this by: a) interviewing lots of rats; b) attaching electrodes to their brains; c) watching their behavior in carefully controlled situations; or d) asking Edward Snowden and Bradley Manning if they ever had any regrets?
  9. In a unanimous decision, the Supreme Court said that the police must almost always obtain a search warrant before searching cell phones seized during arrests. In response to this ruling, the National Security Agency (NSA) declared that: a) yes, we knew about this decision three days before it was announced; b) we don’t arrest people, so we don’t care; c) Supreme Court decisions and laws passed by Congress don’t apply to the NSA, so it’s not really a consideration for us; or d) the decision really doesn’t affect us because we already know what’s on everyone’s cell phone?
  10. A group is suing Chobani, the makers of Greek yogurt, claiming there’s nothing Greek about the yogurt. The plaintiffs also are planning to sue the makers of: a) Bonomo Turkish Taffy; b) Thomas’s English Muffins; c) Canadian bacon; or d) anyone who’s ever claimed to French kiss?
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