July News Quiz

  1. Former Alaska governor Sarah Palin attributed the fast driving that recently earned her a speeding ticket to: a) she was racing a moose; b) she needed to hurry to the library before it closed to pick up a few books for her weekend reading; c) she needed to return to her front porch so she could keep an eye on Russia; or d) she was just being mavericky? 
  2. Marvel Comics announced that its popular character “Thor” will soon become a woman. Marvel is doing this because: a) women can be superheroes, too; b) it wants to attract more female comic book readers and thinks this is a good way to do it; c) more marketing opportunities for products that appeal to girls; or d) transgender is the new black?
  3. The Republican Party announced that it will hold its 2016 convention in Cleveland because: a) Ohio is always an important electoral state and they hope holding the convention there might give them a much-needed edge in the presidential election; b) hometown of Dukes of Hazzard star Catherine Bach; c) it’s hoping for an endorsement from LeBron James; or d) doesn’t everyone build their convention plans around a trip to Cleveland?
  4. The “Crumbs” chain of cupcake bakeries went out of business in July because: a) not enough customers; b) not enough sales; c) inferior product; or d) people would come in, point, ask “Four dollars for a cupcake – really?” – and then leave while still laughing hysterically?
  5. When a Philadelphia court ruled that the city could not apply its amusement tax to lap dances, the lawyer for the strip clubs fighting the tax declared that: a) justice has been served; b) it was always an outrage that the city sought to categorize the services of these fine young women as an amusement; c) this verdict means that hard-working women can continue to earn an honest living taking off their clothes and won’t need to turn to a life of prostitution; or d) the case had a happy ending?
  6. Jersey Shore alumna Snooki chose to hold a Gatsby-themed bridal shower to celebrate her upcoming wedding because: a) it was held on Long Island, so it seemed only appropriate; b) she and her friends tan so much that she thought they’d all look great together in white; c) she liked the costumes in the movie; or d) someone told her “Gatsby” was a new brand of tequila?
  7. Louisiana congressman Vance McAllister, who said he would not run for re-election after he was caught on video kissing a young member of his staff, has changed his mind and announced that he’ll run for re-election after all because: a) if it’s okay with my wife, it’s okay with me; b) cheating on your spouse is a Louisiana tradition, so I think this whole thing actually shows how well-suited I am to represent my constituents in Congress; c) I’m the best and the brightest of my party in this district so it’s my responsibility to run; or d) this job pays $174,000 a year and if you think I’m gonna give that up without a fight and go back to pumping gas for a living you’re out of your mind?
  8. Eighteen-year-old Kendall Jenner posed nude for a magazine because: a) mama Kris said she should; b) she wanted to prove once and for all that she’s prettier than daddy Bruce; c) it’s part of the family’s formula for making money without getting an education or developing a skill or using your brain in any way; or d) if this doesn’t work, she’s going to have to do it the old-fashioned Kardashian way: with a sex tape?
  9. Internet real estate web site Zillow announced that it will buy internet real estate web site Trulia for $3.5 billion. The only matters that remain before completing the sale are: a) a mold inspection in the crawl space at Trulia headquarters; b) pre-qualification to see if Zillow can actually afford a $3.5 billion purchase; c) they have to decide whether to call their new, combined company “Zulia” or “Trillow;” or d) grumbling about how the broker for the deal gets a six percent commission for doing absolutely nothing?
  10. Former Pennsylvania senator and presidential candidate Rick Santorum told C-SPAN that the U.S. founding fathers “…limited the people who could vote in an election… Now you could say that’s horrible, that’s terrible. Well, maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. But it was a decision that was made to make sure that there was some continuity and stability within the government that was consistent with the values that the government was founded upon.” Santorum feels this way because: a) he longs for the days when women, people of color, and poor people weren’t allowed to vote; b) he believes that he and people who think like him would be better off if women, people of color, and poor people weren’t allowed to vote; c) if he’s elected president, he’ll do everything he can to prevent women, people of color, and poor people from voting; or d) he is, in the end, the same old Rick Santorum? 
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