Five Foot Two, Eyes of Blue…

The folks at now believe they know their customers so well, according to published reports, that they think they can predict what we will want to purchase and ship that merchandise to us before we even place our orders.

Since that’s the case, Amazon, make The Curmudgeon’s about five feet eight inches tall, a college graduate, a little on the busty and slightly chubby side, and with any kids at least of college age. Jewish would be nice but not required.

The Curmudgeon will be waiting. Ship “no signature required.”

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  • Scott, (Friend of Mr. Goldberg)  On December 12, 2014 at 7:22 am

    I’m sure Amazon has a few that fit your requirements, that are still laying around the warehouse, post Cyber Monday……..
    aisle 37/ top shelf/ bin #3……they’ll need a forklift

  • foureyedcurmudgeon  On December 12, 2014 at 8:29 am

    Yes, but after the Christmas shopping season The Curmudgeon suspects they may be available two for the price of one!

  • Peaches Shimmerdeep  On December 14, 2014 at 7:35 pm

    There is so much wrong with this post and what passes for witty repartee after it that it is hard to know where to begin. I think my favorite part is where you consider women “merchandise”.

  • Ellen Abitbol  On December 18, 2014 at 3:31 pm

    Five feet eight inches? You can pretty much cross a Jewish woman off your list.

  • foureyedcurmudgeon  On December 18, 2014 at 3:37 pm

    As the Rolling Stones sang, you can’t always get what you want…

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