Generally speaking, Philadelphia magazine is about as interesting as watching paint dry and about as funny as a visit to the proctologist. If a publication stays in print long enough, though, eventually it will tell you something funny. In an article about millenials that was utterly without insight and that threw around generalities based no more on reality than “all Jews are cheap” (note, for the record, The Curmudgeon picks on his own people first) or “all black people are lazy,” the magazine nevertheless managed to offer this absolute gem:
As a boomer, I have a special interest in millennials. It’s the same sort of interest I have in car wrecks: I don’t want to see what’s going on, but I can’t look away. Take, for instance, the cover story that Time magazine had a few months back about how millennials are raising their children. I didn’t read the article. I couldn’t, because the very first paragraph stopped me cold. Here it is, reproduced in full:
On a playground in San Francisco, 4-year-old Astral Defiance Hayes takes a stick and writes his name in the sand. His twin brother Defy Aster Hayes whizzes around their father.
The fact is, I don’t need to know anything more about how millennials are parenting than that two of them thought it was a great idea to name their twin boys Astral Defiance and Defy Aster.
I mean: Who does that?
Now THAT, The Curmudgeon believes, is funny.