The regional convenience store giant Wawa announced this spring that it’s in the process of installing free WiFi at all of its stores.
And The Curmudgeon wants to know…
In the words some PR hack put into the mouth of a Wawa official,
At Wawa, we exist to fulfill customers [sic] lives [sic, again] every day, and part of this commitment means creating meaningful customer connection points that add the highest level of value and convenience.
That explanation, led by “meaningful customer connection points,” induced a wave of nausea in The Curmudgeon.
But the nausea isn’t over because Wawa’s “partner” in this undertaking, the evil cable colossus Comcast, offered its own insipid explanation:
As more enterprises look to improve the customer experience at their branch locations, fast and reliable Wi-Fi has become a cornerstone for attracting and retaining customers.
Another wave of nausea.
The Curmudgeon occasionally shops at Wawa, although less frequently than in the past because the parking lots at its newest stores are so poorly designed that you’re jeopardizing your life, and your car, every time you enter one. Still, the one thing he absolutely, positively knows is that he wants to get into and out of the store as quickly as possible. If he’s not out of a Wawa within three minutes of entering he views the experience as a failure and he finds it hard to believe that others want to linger in the stores; they’re not big on ambiance and there’s nothing to browse. He cannot imagine how adding free WiFi will do anything to enhance his – or anyone else’s – “customer experience.”
If Wawa wants to “enhance customer experience” it can hire a real engineer, and not some board member’s nephew, to redesign its parking lots, improve its selection of convenience items, or maybe lower its gasoline prices – in the last two months it has gone from having among the best prices in the area to a little higher than average – but Wifi just strikes The Curmudgeon as totally unnecessary.