Terrorists Targeting Tabernacle?

Or Shamong?

Or Medford or Mount Laurel or Runnemede or Stratford or Voorhees or Bellmawr or Atco or Turnersville or Riverside or Riverton or Cinnaminson or Burlington or Willingboro or Winslow or Sicklerville or Sewell or Williamstown or Delran?

Unless you live in the Philadelphia area you’ve probably never heard of any of these towns, and that’s with good reason:  there’s absolutely no reason for you ever to have heard of any of them.  They’re all reasonably nice places in the southern half of New Jersey, some of them nicer than others, but there’s absolutely nothing remarkable or even noteworthy about any of them, and unless something unusual happens in one of them – such as in Cherry Hill, just down the road from where The Curmudgeon lives, where 23 years ago the popular rabbi hired a hitman to kill his wife so he could run off with his girlfriend, the popular radio announcer – you can find similar towns like them all over the country.

So when the U.S. Department of Homeland Security distributed federal money to localities to help them prepare for the possibility of some kind of terrorist activity, the towns listed above, and a lot of others just like them, were left off the list.

And they were none too happy about it.

And they complained.

Philadelphia gets a lot of homeland money.  Why?  Well, there’s an enormous shipyard full of retired warships that could be reactivated in the event of a war.  There’s also a world-class university.  And a dense population that includes underground subways and large sports arenas that offer potentially tempting targets to terrorists looking to make a splash and kill a lot of people with one well-placed blast or a little poison.

But Barrington?  Lumberton?  Mount Holly?  Collingswood?  No reasonably informed terrorist is going to target places like these when they’re looking for big scores rather than little splashes.

Public officials in New Jersey, though, are furious.

A local radio station reported that

“Per federal guidelines, nine New Jersey towns are currently ineligible to apply because they do not fall within the U.S. Department of Homeland Security’s designated region most at risk for terrorism,” Rodriguez told KYW Newsradio. “This is simply unacceptable.”

Think about this statement for a moment:  the complaint is that it’s unacceptable that areas that are not considered at risk of a terrorist attack are not eligible for government money to fight and respond to acts of terrorism.

How utterly ridiculous is that?

And how utterly ridiculous are the public officials protesting it?

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