Safeguarding Against Idiocy

Not, not an anti-Trump rant.


Not even close.


Even hard-core Philadelphia sports fans have to acknowledge that many among them are, how shall we say this, fifteen or twenty cents short of a quarter. Often, their enthusiasm and exhilaration and joy crosses over into sheer lunacy and violence.

And the Philadelphia police department understands this – and prepared for it.

For reasons no one really understands and that make no sense whatsoever, many of these fans, when they hit the streets to celebrate with their fellow fans, climb light and sign poles to get a better view of the mayhem all around them. In so doing they jeopardize both their own health and that of the people below them – the ones they fall on because invariably, the same diminished state that induces one to climb a poll eventually leads one to fall off it as well.

So what did the cops do when they realized that a victory by the Philadelphia Eagles football team last Sunday might spark such irrational exuberance?

This stop sign has a certain Wesson-ality

They identified specific neighborhoods and even intersections within neighborhoods where the celebrating most often gets out of hand and they slathered some of the street light and sign poles with Crisco.


So did it work?

It’s hard to say. Reporting on the outcome of this effort isn’t really anyone’s priority.

But in light of this new use for Crisco it’ll be hard, at least for The Curmudgeon, ever to look at cookies and pastry the same way again.

Author: foureyedcurmudgeon

The Four-Eyed Curmudgeon is a middle-aged male who is everything right-wing America despises: he is a big-city, ivy league-educated, liberal Jew. He currently resides in a suburb of Philadelphia. He chooses anonymity for the time being because this is his first experience blogging and he wants to get comfortable with it, and see if he likes it, before he exposes himself (figuratively speaking, of course) to the world.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s