A Pet Peeve

You’re in a restaurant.  If you’re a woman, you could be alone or with a group that includes one or more other women.  If you’re a guy, you’re in a group that includes women.  Maybe it’s your wife, your sister, your girlfriend, just a friend.  Your mother.

And the server comes to the table, hands you menus, and asks “Can I start you guys with something to drink?”

Later: “What can I get you guys?”

And: “Is everything okay, guys?”

Finally: “Can I get you guys anything else?”

For today The Curmudgeon will overlook that it should be “What MAY I get you…” and “May I get you…”  He also expresses his gratitude that the greeting was not “Can I start YOUSE guys with something to drink.”


GUYS? Really?  The last time The Curmudgeon looked, his wife, his mother, his sister, and others are clearly, clearly, clearly not GUYS and for the life of him he has no idea why these servers – people of both gender, by the way – insist on addressing them as GUYS.

Whew! That’s a load off The Curmudgeon’s mind.



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  • Peaches Shimmerdeep  On December 8, 2018 at 12:00 pm

    Not with you on this one. It may be overly familiar, but it is at least cordial and inclusive. And although I’m an ardent feminist, we don’t wish to be the kind of tiresome people who
    Insist that every inquiry include “guys/gals” or a nod to those who don’t wish to identify as either, do we? You can be hard on servers — remember, that’s a tough job. The most generous interpretation here is to be happy for good and solicitous service. (But Im with you on the term “youse”.

    • foureyedcurmudgeon  On December 8, 2018 at 1:08 pm

      I see your point although I’m not with you on the subject of inclusiveness. I don’t see why “What can I get you guys?” can’t be replaced by “What can I get you?”

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