An Article Best Left Unfinished

The Curmudgeon should have known better:  the title of the article was “What Happened When I Used An Alarm Clock Vibrator To Wake Up For A Week” and it was on the obnoxious “Bustle” web site.

And the beginning was not encouraging.

If someone asked you right now, “What’s the best way to wake up in the morning?” could you give them an immediate answer, without even taking a second to think about it? I know I could and it’s one word: orgasm. Starting your day with an orgasm is exactly what some of us need. The effect that it has on our brain, and that beautiful glow it gives, is enough to make it part of your morning routine. At least that’s what the creators of Little Rooster thought when they created a sex toy that doubles as an alarm. 

“As you orgasm, your body releases a hormonal cocktail of dopamine, epinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, and DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone) that enhances mood, boosts immunity, and is a natural anxiety reducer and pain reliever,” sex therapist Stefani Threadgill tells Bustle. “Orgasm strengthens your pelvic floor muscles (thanks to vaginal contractions) and the effect is often pleasure, a warm, relaxed state of mind and a sexy glow (due to the DHEA). 

“Beginning the day with an orgasm is not only a positive way to start the day for your body and mind, but for your relationship too,” Threadgill says. “What you think about grows. Orgasm, from solo or partnered sex, often leaves you thinking more about sex, which can enhance your sex drive and sex life overall. And it beats waking up to an alarm clock!”

So, with that in mind, I had to do what I knew was the right thing: try Little Rooster for a work week. Here’s how it went.

No, The Curmudgeon decided, he’s not going to find out “how it went.”  Some things are better left unsaid.  (If you want to find out “how it went” you can read it for yourself here.)



Author: foureyedcurmudgeon

The Four-Eyed Curmudgeon is a middle-aged male who is everything right-wing America despises: he is a big-city, ivy league-educated, liberal Jew. He currently resides in a suburb of Philadelphia. He chooses anonymity for the time being because this is his first experience blogging and he wants to get comfortable with it, and see if he likes it, before he exposes himself (figuratively speaking, of course) to the world.

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