Tag Archives: trump cabinet

Saving Face

It happened again last Friday: former New York City mayor and current dementia-announcement-in-waiting Rudy Giuliani announced that he was withdrawing his name from consideration for any cabinet positions in the Trump administration.

The day before that, Lou Barletta, the xenophobe who represents all or parts of nine Pennsylvania counties in Congress, announced that he was withdrawing his name from consideration for the job of Secretary of Labor.

No one wants this guy around every day.

No one wants this guy around every day.

A few weeks before that it was Newt Gingrich declaring that he no longer was interested in serving in a cabinet position and would prefer to remain just an occasional but valued (in a non-staff, don’t-show-him-where-the-copy-paper-is kind of way) advisor.

And of course we remember Chris Christie slinking back to that now-unblocked bridge entrance ramp in New Jersey, his destination all along, he now insists, after Donnie Junior and Ivanka and Rasputin – sorry, make that future first son in-law Jared Kushner – took all the transition work Christie did and flushed it, along with Christie’s entire transition staff, down one of Trump Tower’s gold-leafed toilets.

There are no doubt others The Curmudgeon has forgotten, or was never even aware of: people who believe they helped Donald Trump get elected to the presidency and that their reward would be a cabinet position. Giuliani, Gingrich, and Christie were earlier adopters, and Barletta even earlier, one of the first members of Congress to endorse the Orange One, because birds of a lunatic feather really do flock together.

But there’s a difference between having something to offer on the campaign trail and having something to offer to help govern a country and Giuliani, Barletta, and Gingrich clearly have nothing to offer in the latter, and while Christie probably does, his reputation is in the toilet – geez, that’s two toilet references in the same post, a new high (low?) for The Curmudgeon – and besides, Trump is known not to like his people chubby.

So these folks, well-used but finally getting the message that their services are no longer desired, must find a way to save face publicly by attempting to “withdraw” from consideration for positions for which they were never, ever seriously considered. They were played, used – not, by the way, a criticism of Trump at all, because they all do this – and then discarded when their usefulness came to an end.

But oh, those sad “I withdraw my name from consideration for…” speeches really are sad and maybe even a little pathetic, when people of ambition who had the audacity to parade that ambition so publicly and so nakedly decide that they must just as publicly insist that their unchanged professional status is of their own choosing when everyone – everyone – knows it most certainly is not.

 

 

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Selecting a Cabinet

The Sunday New York Times reported that

Donald J. Trump sits high in Trump Tower in New York, spending hours on the phone with friends, television personalities and donors to ask if they know people to recommend for his cabinet.

So the guy is working hard; good for him.

But…hold on a second.

He’s asking television personalities for cabinet recommendations?

Television personalities?

The mind reels with the possibilities of Trump consulting his past Celebrity Apprentice cast members for ideas.

Is he going to seek Gary Busey’s thoughts on Commerce Secretary? (Does Gary Busey even have thoughts?)

Does he think Boy George might have ideas for Defense Secretary?

A guy with the sensitivity needed to help pick the next press secretary?

A guy with the sensitivity needed to help pick the next press secretary?

Is he consulting Andrew Dice Clay on diplomatic appointments?

Or Star Jones on candidates for White House counsel?

Could he be asking Nadia Comaneci or Gene Simmons about whom he should appoint as ambassadors to their native countries? Or might Dennis Rodman have special insight into whom would be best suited to serve as ambassador to North Korea?

Who better to advise on criminal justice appointments than a recent consumer of criminal justice system services?

Who better to advise on criminal justice appointments than a recent consumer of criminal justice system services?

Or Teresa Giudice on criminal justice system appointments?

Is he really seeking the assistance of Khloe Kardashian?

Advice from Melissa Rivers?

From…from… Snooki????

Consider it:

“Hello, Snooki, Donald Trump here.”

Hello, Mr. Trump. How are you?”

“I’m doing great, Snooki, really fabulous.”

“That’s good, but like I told you four or five times, Mr. Trump, I’m married now and I’m, like, not that kind of girl anymore. I’m flattered, but I’m married with two children now.”

“No, Snooki, that’s not why I’m calling, although my offer stands, you know that. I’m calling because now that I’ve been elected president, I’m looking for help on who to appoint to my cabinet.”

“Elected president?”

“Yes. It was in all the papers and on television. Don’t you subscribe to my Twitter feed?”

“I’m too busy feeding my children, Mr. Trump. But when you say you’ve been elected president, you mean like on TV, right? Not like in real life, right?”

“Yes, Snooki, in real life. Do you have any ideas for who would be good for my cabinet?”

“In that case, yes: Mike Sorrentino.”

“Is he popular? Is he good ratings? Because frankly, if he’s not popular he can’t be any good.”

“Oh, he’s, like, very popular.”

“Excellent. So why him?”

“Because I saw in a movie once that there’s a place in the White House called the situation room.”

“Yeah, so?”

“Well, didn’t you watch Jersey Shore?”

“No, I missed it, it’s on my TIVO, but I heard it was terrific, really terrific. Great ratings, very popular. But what about this Sorrentino?”

“Well, if you watched Jersey Shore you’d know that his nickname is ‘The Situation,’ so I figure he would be great for a job in the situation room.”

“That’s a terrific recommendation, Snooki, you really came through for me bigly, hugely.”

“You’re welcome. So you’re really, like, going to be president?”

“Yes, Snooki, I am.”

“And this is for real, not a TV reality show?”

“Yes.”

“And when you ran, people really took you seriously and didn’t think it was just for TV?”

“They took me very seriously, to be honest.   In fact, 62 million people voted for me.”

“Those are great ratings.”

“The best ratings. Only the best. Thank you, Snooki.”

“You’re welcome, Mr. Trump.”