Just Plain Dumb

Juneteenth, we now know even though the folks who decided what we needed to learn in school never thought it was something worth teaching us, is an old holiday commemorating the day when news of the emancipation of slaves reached the last place in the U.S. where slaves were still held and emancipation was still unknown and unimplemented:  Galveston, Texas.  That was on June 19, 1865 – hence “Juneteenth.”

Juneteenth is now a national/federal holiday, celebrated – obviously – on June 19.

Only…

Where The Curmudgeon lives, in New Jersey, Juneteenth was a state holiday even before it became a federal holiday, and for reasons that defy logic, it is celebrated on…

The third Friday of June.

Even when that’s not June 19.

Like this year, when the third Friday of June is June 16.

Today.  Not Monday.  Today.

Because – could there be any other reason? – the state officials who made it a holiday wanted to create a new three-day weekend for themselves, their friends, and their families.  In so doing, they conveyed to their constituents their real regard for the day and its purpose.

Now the Race Has REALLY Begun!

In the beginning there was Donald Trump in the race for the Republican presidential nomination.

And then Nikki Haley.

And Tim Scott.

And Asa Hutchinson.

And Ron DeSantis.

And then last week, the floodgates opened.

Chris Christie.

Mike Pence.

But now…

Now…

The cast of characters is truly set with the addition of…

In case you missed it…

The face all of America knows and loves

North Dakota Governor Doug Burgum.

Whoooooooo?

And more important…

Why oh why oh whyyyyyyyyy?  Because America is just screaming out for Doug Burgum?

When the Going Gets Tough, the Lawyers Get Going

Those of us of a certain age may vaguely recall a television commercial for Tareyton cigarettes in which an actor turns to the camera to reveal a black eye and declares “Us Tareyton smokers would rather fight than switch.”

Like so many lawyers that have served Donald Trump over the years – totally aside from the many he tried to hire who would have nothing to do with him – the two lawyers who were working for him on the stolen documents case, Jim Trusty and John Rowley, quit that job less than 24 hours after he was indicted.

Because unlike Tareyton smokers, they’d rather switch than fight.

Who’s left?  The Curmudgeon hasn’t seen Jacoby & Meyers on television for years, or Joel Hyatt, and even the guy who seems to spend the most peddling his legal services on TV these days, the very phallic John (“because size matters”) Morgan, doesn’t do criminal work.

What’s a felon to do?

Maybe he needs to call these guys: