An…Interesting New Product

The Curmudgeon heard a brief report on the radio about a new product called “Stiff Bull.”

Good lord, insert your own caption

It’s an herbal coffee that, well, his own words fail him, so he’ll just share the description from the company’s web site:

Stiff Bull is an All-Natural Herbs Coffee that contains a propriety blend of ingredients such as – Tongkat Ali, Maca Root, and Guarani.

 These Herbs grow wild in the jungles of Malaysia and have been used for centuries by the people of Asia and South America to greatly improve sexual health, libido, and overall wellness.

 The combination of these ingredients produces an awesome effect that can last up to 2 – 3 days.

And this brief FAQ, also from the company’s web site:

HOW LONG BEFORE I START SEEING RESULTS WITH STIFF BULL HERBAL COFFEE?

Almost immediately you will notice that your penis feels fuller. Many men report this full sensation within just the first few days! Although we cannot say exactly how much larger you will get, you should see an increase in erection size while taking Stiff Bull Natural Herbs Coffee as directed.

HOW DO I KNOW IF STIFF BULL HERBAL COFFEE IS RIGHT FOR ME?

Stiff Bull Coffee was created for adults that want to maintain an active relationship.

Alas, in this particular case, there’s no punch line: The Curmudgeon is pretty much speechless.

Perhaps rigidly so.

And also a bit regretful that he’s incapable of swallowing even a single sip of coffee without being seriously repulsed.

But he may need to learn to get over that.